I don’t want to do this, but I have to. Because I let myself go so much, and I need to get back to 140lbs at least and then down, down to 120lbs and then recheck how I’m going.
But what? This is going to take like 3 - 6 months and walking around this depressed sucks and is so de-motivational.

I just hope the number on the scale tomorrow is smaller than today.

It’s so depressing to have a boyfriend that talks to his ex more than he bothers to talk to you. I’m in a paranoid, tired, depressive state and no one cares.
Everyone that you put the effort into, never puts the effort back.
I might ghost for a while.

I haven’t told you how much it hurts to eat, how I purge, how my mindset is set on slowly killing myself and how much I need constant reassurance that I am enough as a person and I shouldn’t die or give up on myself.